


The Best of Humanity

by startrekkingaroundasgard



Category: Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Married Pepper Potts/Tony Stark, Protective Pepper Potts, Tony Stark Feels, Tony Stark Has A Heart, and issues, and really needs a hug
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-20
Updated: 2019-02-20
Packaged: 2019-11-01 06:16:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,918
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17861921
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/startrekkingaroundasgard/pseuds/startrekkingaroundasgard
Summary: Tony gets back from a mission in a bad state and Pepper reminds him that he will always be a hero by showing him messages and drawings from the children he’s inspired all around the world.





	The Best of Humanity

“There’s been no update since the last time you asked, seven minutes and thirty six seconds ago, Ms Potts.”

Pepper could never find comfort in the old adage that no news was good news. In her experience, no information just meant that there wasn’t anyone left conscious to spread the bad news. She should be used to the stress of being married to an Avenger after who knows how many years but it never got easier when Tony was ripped out of bed in the middle of the night, called to some god forsaken part of the world to deal with terrorists or aliens or whatever flavour the threat of the week was this time.

Finding a distracting helped, sometimes. Over the past few years, she had discovered a natural talent in many widely differing disciples: baking, aikido, harpsichord (why they had one in storage, she’d never know) and knitting to name but a few. Work and meetings were just another ineffective way to stop her mind from pondering the worst case scenario. They never kept her mind busy for long, though. Instead of feeling relaxed, Pepper would feel guilty that she was wasn’t able to do anything useful to help her husband.

Not that knowing was any better. On the rare occasion that she’d been given access to mission control rooms at SHIELD - way back when, before the world had gone completely insane, Maria Hill had given her security clearance which had never been revoked - Pepper found out the hard way just how awful it was to hear what was happening live through the comms. Every time the line cut out, she lost years of her life for fear that those words were the last she’d ever hear Tony say.

In the end, she’d found the only thing to do was wait. To wear through the carpet with her constant pacing and annoy the AI with the same question on repeat: _Any news?_

The fear didn’t end when the jets arrived back, though. Only when she saw Tony walking, unaided, out into the launch hanger did Pepper finally allow herself to breathe again. He was alive. His limbs were intact. He was safe. He was home. Every time, she would walk calmly to meet him and silently wrap her arms around his neck, whispering a soft, sarcastic comment in his ear because those things, his physical safety, were absolutely no indication of his mental state.

Today, Pepper realised instantly that Tony was not okay. Not in the slightest.

Loss was unavoidable in this life. They all knew that. Tony more than most. It didn’t make it any easier to accept, though. The Avengers dealt with it in different ways. Some punched the anger away. Other curled up and screamed and cried until their throats were red raw and there were no more tears to be shed. A few repressed the feelings until they burst out at a later date.

Tony, though… He just went blank. He felt the loss so deeply that he simply could not cope. He bore the weight of every mistake and let them crush his soul. He wouldn’t eat or sleep. On the worst days, he wouldn’t even drink. (It was a terrible coping mechanism that Pepper tried to help him avoid but sometimes he needed something to tear him out of the darkness.)

Their hands entwined, Pepper guided Tony through the Compound to their room. She wordlessly helped him out of his torn and filthy clothes. Perched on the edge of their bed, Tony sat staring blankly at the wall, unflinching as she removed the small shards of metal from his wounds. This was another talent that Pepper never knew she’d possessed; an aptitude for nursing. Over the years she’d picked up the basics and had even had sessions with Rhodey to learn more about emergency field medicine in case.

It wasn’t something she liked doing. Stitching up wounds made her stomach turn and the one time she’d tried to set Tony’s broken leg she’d promptly ended up in the bathroom, emptying her stomach into the toilet. Thankfully this time FRIDAY confirmed that Tony had avoided any major internal injuries - this time - and no further first aid was required. The best way forward was a simple shower and a good night’s sleep.

Pepper wasn’t surprised when she felt Tony wriggle out of her arms later that night. In fact, she was almost glad that he did. A cursory glance at the clock showed that it was well past 3 am; Tony usually came back to himself far sooner and she’d been getting worried that he might never shake himself out of this particular bout of darkness.

She crawled across the mattress and knelt behind him, her concern over powering the sharp bite of the cold night air. Pepper gently wrapped her arms around Tony’s waist and placed a soft kiss on his bruised shoulder. “Talk to me, Tony. Please. What did you see?”

“I couldn’t save them, Pepper. I tried, I swear I did. I should have been faster. If I’d realised, I could have gotten them out of there. They were kids. They deserved better than that. What’s the point in taking out the bad guys if we - _I_ \- leave innocent people to die with them. That makes me no better than the people we’re trying to stop.”

“Don’t do this to yourself, Tony. I spoke to the others and they said no one could have known that there were other prisoners there. It wasn’t on the plans and none of the scans gave you any reason to think otherwise.”

“I should have known. There’s always a secret room or a basement. There is _always_ someone who gets left behind and no one cares because we stopped the main threat. What kind of heroes are we if we’re as dismissive of life as the monsters we claim to fight?”

Pepper sighed, sliding off the mattress and crouching down in front of her husband. She took his rough hands in hers and ran her thumbs over the hundreds of scars that marred the skin. A sharp stab of rejection nearly crippled her when Tony wouldn’t meet her gaze but Pepper knew it wasn’t personal. Tony was too wrapped up in his self loathing and guilt to realise the effect his pain had on her. With so much else constantly weighing down his mind, Pepper certainly wasn’t going to tell him, either.

Still, she refused to sit back and let him wallow like this. Tony was a great man - one of the best, in her humble opinion - but even the greatest of men began to crumble under the pressure of shouldering the entire world. He needed a helping hand to pull him back into the light and Pepper had sworn long ago that she would always be there as his.

“Come with me.” Tugging him up with her, Pepper pulled Tony out of their room and down the hallway. She ignored his distant protests until they finally stopped in front of a seemingly random door. Gentle but firm, Pepper cupped his face and whispered, “You _are_ a hero, Tony, to so many people. I know it isn’t easy. The world is a terrible, fucked up place but you bring something special to it. You are a shining beacon of light and not just to me.”

Tony stepped back, running his fingers through his hair. He shifted his weight on his heels, deciding whether or not to just go back to bed. In the end he stayed put, unable to leave Pepper alone with that fear of losing him in her eyes. He focused his gaze on the carpet beneath his bare feet, blocking the dark thoughts with the logistics of calling in a cleaner to deal with the non-existent mess.

Her words ringing in his mind, Tony shook his head to try and block them out. It didn’t help. He knew, deep down, that she meant every syllable but that didn’t stop her reassurances sounding empty to his ears. She needed to stop before he started believing them. “Pep, you don’t need to say this. It’s fine. I know what I am.”

“Oh, Tony. You have no idea what you are.” Pepper kissed him softly on the lips, barely there but still enough for both to feel the familiar sparks between them. She took his hand once again and led him into the small room, closing the door behind her.

She flicked the lightswitch and a gentle glow illuminated the room. Each wall was covered floor to ceiling with hand written letters in every language and drawings in a thousand mediums - some instantly recognisable as the Iron Man armour, others a little more abstract. There were piles of gifts and toys in the iconic hot rod red and gold and teddy bears with fake arc reactors stitched to their chests. Gifts from adoring fans, young and old, reminders of how Iron Man had changed the world for the better.

Tony slowly ran his fingers over the nearest letter, his eyes growing wet as he read about a mother whose child was going through surgery. He wasn’t scared about getting a replacement heart because it made him feel more like his idol. Another letter spoke of how a teenage girl had followed his example and refused to be beaten down by her bullies. She stood up to them and was now the unofficial hero of her class.

Somehow Tony ended up on the floor with a bear in his arms, sifting through a box of letters and drawings, reading every word until his heart stopped thumping in his chest and the vicious voices in his mind grew quieter.

Pepper sat beside him the entire time, smiling fondly at the gifts. Eventually, she rested her hand on his leg and said, “This is the real you, Tony. This is what you are. You bring hope to people, to children, all around the world. You show them the best of humanity. That even in the darkest times, goodness is still possible.

“I know, _I know_ , losing people isn’t easy but look around this room and tell me that what you do isn’t worth it. These are children whose lives you have saved over and over again. You inspire them to face their fears, to go against impossible odds and come out the other side stronger than they were before. You are a hero, Tony.”

He set aside the bear he’d been cradling and wrapped himself around Pepper instead. She instantly tugged him closer, clinging to him like they were the last two people on this miserable planet.

“Thank you,” Tony whispered, his voice shaking. “I love you so much. I don’t know what I’d do without you.”

“You’ll never have to find out,” Pepper promised, raking her fingers through his hair as she pulled him into a long kiss. It was as soft as ever, the love she felt for him so painfully obvious that it almost broke Tony’s heart all over again. “Let’s go back to bed, yeah?”

Tony hesitated a moment, his eyes flickering around the room once more. Pepper understood what he wasn’t saying immediately and smiled gently. She kissed him again. Yes, he could bring the bear. Tony kissed her back, more grateful than there words in the entire world for the strength of Pepper Stark. Because if anyone here was the best of humanity then it was, without a doubt, her.


End file.
